On Being an Idiot

Before I took the leap of faith, I did ask myself what if I’m wrong and God doesn’t exist and I’m just being a stupid fucking idiot.

If God does exist, then perhaps He would perform miracles through me and perhaps/maybe/hopefully save the world in the process.

If God doesn’t exist, then I’m just another stupid fucking religious nut job Christian running around trying to make things better.

Neither sounds all that bad to me. After all, I did almost killed myself after reaching the end of existentialism, nihilism, and anti-natalism. I walked to the end and came back with nothing. You can’t derive right and wrong, good and evil by reason alone. Most importantly, you can’t derive the meaning of life by reason alone.

I almost killed myself a couple of times this year because of what happened at rosebay naturist camping and the dealings with my former friend. I was faithful to the campsite boss John and my former friend to the point of death for however little care and love they gave me. What do you think I would do for Him after He gave me a new life?