On the Equation of Love

I had a crush on a friend of mine when I was in Chinese high school. I contemplated whether to tell him about my feelings when I was 16, shortly before moving to the United Kingdom for my study. I mapped out all possibilities in my head in order to evaluate the most optimal choice to make.

If I tell him, even if he shares the same feelings towards me, both of us will end up unhappy due to my imminent departure.

If I tell him, and he doesn’t share the same feelings towards me, there’s the possibility that it would disturb him greatly and I couldn’t risk seeing him unhappy due to my actions.

If I don’t tell him, I bear the weight of my feelings and the loneliness that comes with it, but at the very least I know he won’t be negatively affected due to my actions.

As a result, I came up with an equation to quantify love - the greatest amount of sacrifice we are willing to make. I thought at the time that the greatest amount of sacrifice one could make is to die for the person they love, and second to that would be choosing to leave regardless of how much it hurts knowing that it’s the best they could do for the person they love.

Then I learned that God sent His only begotten son Jesus Christ to die for our sins. I think that’s greater than the greatest love I have ever known.

Jesus loves us.