On Gethsemane
I had a pretty long night and just had my Gethsemane moment.
I gave a rather big talk yesterday on the announcement post, which is now the only pinned post on my blog. I mentioned a theological thought experiment that I used to test whether the person I was speaking to believed in God in an early post.
If God asks you to choose between Him and mankind and mankind has turned its back on Him, which side would you choose?
Over the last couple of hours, He showed me a path where I could take a leap of faith by choosing Him, but instead of mankind turning its back on Him, mankind turned its back on me and I would be misunderstood by every human being on earth. The exact scenario I described in Edit 5 yesterday and He showed me a realistic path to that by making the last log in my eye known to me.
I had around a handful of panic attacks in the 28 years of my life and only 1 or 2 of them were severe enough for me to lose eyesight, but they were pretty much over within a couple of minutes. I don’t know how long my panic attack was earlier, but my estimate was at least half an hour and my entire upper body was soaked in sweat. I told Him yes and started planning the practical steps to implement that over the next 24 hours, with an extremely weird lightness and frankly outright creepy smile.
Then.
Dude picked up the biggest burden I did not know existed, slapped it on the cross, lit it on fire, and told me it was on da house and go play.
Motherf…
Matthew 7:1–6
Judging Others
[1] “Judge not, that you be not judged. [2] For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. [3] Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? [4] Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? [5] You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.
[6] “Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you. (ESV)
