On My Salvation
Not too bothered to setup a WordPress site. Just gonna share some thoughts that may appear somewhat schizophrenic here. Not interested in convincing anyone, but happy to engage in respectful discussions.
Brief summary on how I was saved. Lived the digital nomad lifestyle for six months Oct 2023 - Apr 2024. Regularly attended very interesting parties in Berlin and a frequent visitor to the basement of Berghain as a rampant homosexual. Walked around to admire the architecture of Berghain during Easter Snax and got bored. Booked a trip in a rented caravan at a naturist campsite called Rosebay in Peterborough. Walked up with a Gen 2 Starlink dish, bought a new Swift caravan and moved in two weeks later. Gave them full site Wi-Fi coverage for free with UniFi and UISP equipments using Starlink as uplink because the community was really nice to me at the beginning. Three months later I got kicked out for breaking the No. 1 rule of caravanning - staying within my pitch. I unintentionally broke the rule trying to maintain consistent network uptime and have a direct line of sight between antennas to bridge the network at reception. Got my first bible a week after getting kicked out since an ethical thought experiment I designed during COVID essentially came true at the campsite and I thought it was divine intervention. Almost killed myself to prove my innocence and He visited me for three days in late August and saved me.
Regularly throws tantrums at Him and go on rage walks every other day, but He and I both know I will be going home once I’m done letting the steam out. He makes me laugh, cry and annoyed (roughly 25% of the time), but at the end of the day He always fills my heart with joy. I’m regularly annoyed because He digs holes, lets me walk over and fall, picks me up, wipes my tears, dusts me off and tells me to go play. The thought of I would not learn unless I fall still pisses me off regularly.
I designed a thought experiment when it comes to sinning. Suppose I make a hotel booking and plan to sin hard with a FWB. The annoyingly gracious Father insists on driving me there and takes away all other means of transport just because He can. I don’t have a driving license so I kinda have no other choice but to let Him. He parks the car when we get there and tells me to go do whatever it is that I need to do in there, and He will be waiting in the carpark to drive me home when I’m done. Dude makes it really difficult to even get out of the car and kills the mood in an instant.
I made almost the exact arrangements on the day I was supposed to return to London from Rome after failing to burn down a gigantic fig tree. I took a nap before my flight and He made me wet without dreaming and missed my flight. I had to wait six additional hours at the airport to reflect on my thoughts and actions. Turns out rebellion only brings momentary satisfaction and true happiness comes from obedience as God’s children.
