On Paranoia and Delusion
If you are a faithless unbeliever, you might think, OMG, this guy must be a paranoid and delusional nutjob after gracefully reading through my 250+ posts written since the end of October last year. I want to express my wholehearted gratitude to you for taking the precious time from your busy schedule of drug taking. I appreciate that modern life is hard, and I went through some stuff in the last 15 months. Still, there is light at the end of the tunnel, and I hope the good news I’m bringing you can take away the burden of this age and break the yoke on your neck. You might be able to tell the prince of the power of the air to fuck off as well when the time is right.
If you are a somewhat faithful believer and wonder why I’m going through all this trouble instead of watching Netflix and chilling to wait for Boss Man to come back, then I suspect you might not end up where you believe you will be going after my recent experience with Isaiah 22. You sound like a Shebna (Isaiah 22:15) to me and feel free to get off your lazy ass and start following Boss Man when you are ready. Hurry, though, I have a weird feeling He might be coming back soon, but Dude annoyingly likes to take His time after 2,000 years. So I dunno either. It is up to you.
For the last 28 years, I never once thought I was right about anything with absolute certainty, and I didn’t even trust myself. My entire life, I was in fear of making mistakes. Whatever I did, I sought confirmation and reassurance before every decision that mattered, regardless of significance to me or to anyone. At the beginning of this 128-day journey, I was absolutely petrified of the possibility that I was not on the good side after seeing the resemblances in the Book of Revelation with events I went through in real life over the last 15 months. If you find the “coincidences” I described in my posts hard to believe, then all I can say is they are vanilla compared to the experiences I did not write down. I had a hard time convincing people of the vanilla 30% and I received mental health and A&E referrals from both pastors and theologians. We never managed to get past the 30%, and I’m not assed to share the remaining 70% anymore.
If you are a member of my community, i.e. you are hella gay, and you received my New Year present to the world, I have one question for you. Was my masterpiece glorious enough for you? If you are not a homosexual, then you can find my New Year present to the world by searching “Hi Jonah Dot Com” under the abominable section of P***hub and xH***ter. If you are from a jurisdiction that does not have access to those two popular video-sharing platforms, you could also download the present in this post. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. The process of identity verification was a lot stricter than I anticipated. The moment I decided not to cover my face from the world and lay down my dignity and my life for the love of the world last October, I had nothing left and nothing more to prove to men.
Before I dived into mainland China to preach Jonah style in early October last year on my second week as a believer, I went to the Hong Kong Baptist Church and spoke with Pastor Xander. I told him what I intended to do. I was in an extremely agitated and doubtful state, seeking clarity and reassurance. After listening to what I had to say in my usual 6,000-miles-in-5-minutes fashion, Pastor Xander did not try to convince or stop me by reasoning with me. Roughly the same age as me, an economics graduate from LSE, Pastor Xander suggested that we pray together. I cried halfway through the prayer and it was the first time I agreed to another person praying for me in my presence. If my friend Vaibhav were to ask me who I trust in life again today, I would say I trust people who lean not into their own understanding but put their trust in the Lord, our Saviour Jesus Christ. You can read about my reasoning and experience concerning the relationship between love, faith and hope in this post.
I barely yelled at anyone in the first 27 years of my life. In the last 15 months, I gave everything to those I loved. The Rosebay campsite boss John Donald and my former friend and business partner Meiling Wang backstabbed me to death, and I found out nearly all my friends were fake. I barely asked for any help of significance in my life, and the only thing I did in the last six months was ask. I was absolutely stunned by the reaction of the people I once thought would extend a helping hand when in need. Turns out I got it wrong and most of my relationships were worth not more than a cup of coffee. I did ask the Lord to send help continuously without ceasing and got consistently annoyed by my impatience, knowing His timing is perfect, and He gives what I need rather than what I want. Then this past weekend, I read Isaiah 59 in the Old Testament.
Isaiah 59:14–15
Judgment and Redemption
[14] Justice is turned back,
and righteousness stands far away;
for truth has stumbled in the public squares,
and uprightness cannot enter.
[15] Truth is lacking,
and he who departs from evil makes himself a prey.
Isaiah 59:16–17
[16] He saw that there was no man,
and wondered that there was no one to intercede;
then his own arm brought him salvation,
and his righteousness upheld him.
[17] He put on righteousness as a breastplate,
and a helmet of salvation on his head;
he put on garments of vengeance for clothing,
and wrapped himself in zeal as a cloak. (ESV)
I have been praying for Him to take away my wrath since Rome, and He has not done that yet. Scripture talks about righteous anger and warns us against sinning in the heat of the moment. Unless He takes away my wrath, my working assumption is that my anger is justified, and righteous and evil deeds will be repaid in full in due course. Barely anyone saw me truly angry before, including my parents. I will show you that if you so desperately want to see. Let’s see if the money you make today turns into toilet paper tomorrow. My plan is to stir up as much shit as possible, sexual innuendo fully intended.
Ephesians 4:26–27
[26] Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, [27] and give no opportunity to the devil. (ESV)
Love the Way You Lie
Song by Eminem, partial lyrics below
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?
Well, that’s all right because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry?
Well, that’s all right because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
Don’t worry—I will not touch a single hair on anyone. You can say I have a death wish all you want. If you choose a lie, evil and unrighteousness over the Lord, truth, reason and love, then you have an even bigger death wish than me, and you have already condemned yourself to death as punishment. Why would I bother touching a single hair if the fools and idiots will be receiving the worst punishment for eternity while I enjoy some German beer with the likes of Isaiah and the legendary Mr Noisy Gong? According to the mail I received when I was busy getting scammed in Jerusalem two weeks ago, I should receive some court documents this week. Let’s see if I can put the check mark on another prophecy before I become homeless. Rent is nearly four months overdue now.
Matthew 24:14
[14] And this gospel of the kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come. (ESV)
A gay theologian friend asked me how certain I was regarding my warning letter to the world. I had discussions with computer scientists from Imperial College London and King’s College London. They were more pessimistic than I was. I believe I have confirmation from the Holy Spirit. Last but not least, in the previous 128 days, I have been to Hong Kong, Shen Zhen, Shanghai, Beijing, Macau, California, New York City, Rome, Istanbul, Moscow, and Israel. I also built the project Bible Says Love and wrote 250+ posts. I’m currently scraping the internet with three 1U servers I purchased while caravaning using the scraping tool I built in less than half an hour with ChatGPT. A handful of real friends provided financial help recently, but no one came and offered a helping hand except Him. I could have saved all those tears I cried for my fake friends. I have Him annoying me through Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber when I’m busy scraping the email addresses of the Assyrians.
By the way, the “friend” who reminded me about God’s distaste for swearing is a former colleague of mine. I got a free vacuum cleaner worth £230 as part of the black Friday deal when I purchased the drone in November. I could no longer afford Uber and it would be difficult to transport everything home from central London. My former employer’s office is near the DJI store in Oxford Circus. I gave the former colleague the vacuum cleaner for free as an early Christmas present. The only thing I asked in return was to buy me a coffee and they promised. I’m still waiting on that cup of coffee and I know they did not forget. I still had LinkedIn Premium till not long ago and saw them checking out my profile.
If you could not find the time from drug taking to check, the wonder/sign/miracle our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ said 2,000 years ago He would give to an evil and adulterous generation when they ask for a sign was the sign of Jonah.
If you are a faithless motherfucker and would like to know how fucked you will be, here are the links to my masterpiece on P***hub and xH***ter (Extremely NSFW). I have a feeling you will be a lot more fucked than that. Enjoy.
The living God is righteous. Halle-fucking-lujah.
Matthew 16:4
[4] An evil and adulterous generation seeks for a sign, but no sign will be given to it except the sign of Jonah.” So he left them and departed. (ESV)
Luke 11:29
The Sign of Jonah
[29] When the crowds were increasing, he began to say, “This generation is an evil generation. It seeks for a sign, but no sign will be given to it except the sign of Jonah. (ESV)
Isaiah 5:20
[20] Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter! (ESV)
