On Suffering

On day 2 of His first visit back in August, He asked me a series of questions through a song called Locked Away by R. City.

I kinda said yes to the questions in the lyrics and was under the impression that I was signing up to be a missionary for Him, and that I was going to live a life full of suffering with faith as my only reward. I said yes because I felt undeserved and He did save my life.

Then I found out about blessings and I got very annoyed, because He only told me the bad parts and didn’t tell me the good parts when I signed the employment contract as a servant. 😠

Although, now that I know about them I kinda want them as well. And I’m annoyed at myself for that. 🙄

Edit: I also stupidly asked Him to let me suffer, and I think He’s doing exactly that. 😡😡😡